Posts tagged ‘Australian fauna’

April 22, 2011

A Parliament of Beasts

Who Represents Cock-Robin?*

“Who will talk to men?”
“I must,” announced the Southern Emu-Wren,
“I’ll learn English, then swiftly deal with men.”

“Who’ll fight for each inch?”
“I shall,” yelled the threatened, Black-Throated Finch,
“It will be a cinch to fight for each inch.”

“Who’ll give humans hell?”
“I,” claimed the Christmas Island Pipistrelle,
“I’ll do very well at giving men hell.”

“Who’ll make this legal?”
“Well, I, of course,” drawled the Wedge-Tailed Eagle
“I am so regal, I’ll make this legal.”

“Who will bring a suit?”
“I,” declared the Eastern Barred Bandicoot,
“I shall prosecute any legal suit.”

“Who’ll serve for one term?”
“I,” whispered the Giant Gippsland Earthworm,
“I’ll make humans squirm, and serve for a term.”

“Who will take the poll?”
“Let me, let me!” shouted the Eastern Quoll,
“I shall grab a scroll, and prepare the poll!”

“Who will count the vote?”
“I,” said the Forty-Spotted Pardalote,
“I’ll take careful note, and then count the vote!”

“Who’ll say ‘hyper-bowl’?”
“I,” slurred the Southern Marsupial Mole,
“I’ll take on that rôle, saying ‘hyper-bowl’.”

“Who will ‘bell the cat’?
“Ah, well,” murmured the Bare-Rumped Heathtail Bat,
“I’m no democrat when it comes to that—”.

* Peter Hunt writes, “Animal land rights bid”, in the Weekly Times:

University of Western Sydney academic John Hadley, who is at the forefront of a global push to give animals property rights, believes farmers should be forced to negotiate with the legal guardians of Australia’s native animals before clearing their land.
“Under an animal guardianship system, landholders who want to modify habitat on their land would have to negotiate with a guardian acting on behalf of a designated group of animals,” Dr Hadley said in his article on a new academic website The Conversation.

January 30, 2011

Deadly Poisonous Creatures

[Two holidaying men are lying on the sand of an Australian beach.  Despite weeks of lazing in the sun, both men are pale.]

Bruce: My skin itches; a drowsy numbness pains
my limbs, as though in thistles I had rolled:
attacked I was by fierce, venomous frogs.
The vicious things were crazed and sans remorse!
Wherefore, I ask, doth this odd, fearsome land
allow within these foul amphibians?

Kev: That’s nothing.  I was just nibbling on some
of this supposedly fine octopus
but ’twas not safe, ’twas poisonous!  Therefore,
I go, quite peeved, to everlasting rest,
and shake the taste of indigestible,
world-wearying flesh.  Mine eyes, look your last.  

[Both men expire.]

For the entire brief tragedy, see “Encountering Venomous Frogs and Poisonous Octopus” at the all right, all right blog.